No matter if you’re changing your job or just because you need something new in your life, moving to a new city could be fun at first and a nightmare after. From things you’ll have to eat, to finding a place to live or to making new friends the road may be sprinkled with lots of problems.

New York City - Times Square (by FraukeFoto)

For many people, living in a new city is a big challenge and if you break through, you’ll eventually have to make friends. If finding out things like crime rate, school systems, medical care, taxes, cell phone coverage or bars and restaurants to spend your time, is just as easy as searching on Google, making new friends is not very easy.

This little guide may help you out.

First things, first

Alone in the city or not, you should know what type of people you enjoy spending time with. This is the first step you should consider. If you don’t like people that are frequently spending time in bars or clubs you should avoid such places. Be honest to yourself and decide what people you should meet.

1. Radiate positive energy. Smile, be funny and confident because your behavior will attract or keep people away. You need to be interesting, not boring. This is how you keep shyness away, a main problem for most of the people I’ve seen the first time.
2. Start at work or school. The best way to meet new people in a place you’ve never been before, is to start with the place you spend the most time during the day. Be it school, be it work find someone (nice enough) to show you the area and make a quick list of interesting things you could do. Some of you will say that after 9 hours of work, they have no energy left to spend time with the same people again. Could be true, but these are the first people you meet that could at least open your horizon.
3. Activities, activities, activities. Another great way to find people sharing the same things you do is to find activities to join.
   • sports : go jogging in the park, find a swimming pool or a gym to join, find a group for mountain expeditions, tennis lessons and actually every sport you enjoy.
   • social and cultural: you may want to consider dancing lessons, taking a drama class, find new events in your city on different websites/blogs, attend church on Sundays and so on.
   • for families the easiest way to meet new people is through your kids. Join the charity fund at school, take your kids to soccer practice or swimming lessons. It’s easier to meet other parents, discuss problems that concern both parts and then throw in a barbecue party at your place and invite all those parents.
   • for teenagers or young people, a very good idea to making your first friends is sharing an apartment with someone. I know it could be dangerous but you’ll have to trust your instincts on choosing the right person.

The Lion Conversation Continues by (tberling)

A better you, for better relations

Just attending events or running in the park is not enough to get you friends to spend time with. The most important thing is starting a conversation because a good first impression is very important.

• Don’t be rude. You may not like the person you’ve just met, but it doesn’t mean you have to send them away with bad words. You never know who “they know” and you end up feeling sorry.
• Overcome shyness. Shyness is rooted in fear. The fear of being public humiliated or ignored. The fear of embarrassment is so big that people prefer to sit back and watch others do the talking. If there’s no battle, there’s no winner. Be confident in your self-worth and practice (start conversations). One more thing, make sure everyone knows you’re a newcomer, they will take you easier and you’ll feel better.
• Smart conversation. Don’t ever expect to start a conversation by asking a question that can give a quick “yes” or “no”. Instead of asking “Do you like these paintings?” you can try to say “I like/dislike these paintings because …. What do you think about them?”. Different people require different approaches. If you’re meeting geeks you may want to talk about the gadgets you own and why you like them, but if you meet people working in advertising most likely you’ll have to refer to the latests billboards you’ve seen across town.
• Be funny. That’s a must and I don’t need to explain it, right?

Mistakes you should avoid

1. Old friends. For the first few months until you accommodate and make new friends you’ll probably keep in touch with old buddies. Sometimes the biggest mistake one could do is to hang on old friends too much, so that they have no time for their own. Save time for yourself, it’s an “order”.
2. Don’t be too clingy. If you’re not invited live with it. Don’t take desperate measures and call over and over again or make a scene because those people may have other friends, too. Friendship is a slow motion thing so take your time,be patient and relax. It will come.
3. Couples. They tend to rely only on each other and miss the part where they go out to meet new people.
4. Less TV and Internet. This is good for anyone reading this. Watching TV and surfing on the Internet is very addictive and could keep you tied up to a chair for long hours. On the funny part, keep in mind that I’m not saying to forget about reading SocialPacks, that’s allowed.

I hope these little tips are going to help you out if you plan to move to a new city, and if you have your own tricks I’d love to hear them all.

Getting the attention of someone you find interesting can be a difficult task. Flirting is an extremely difficult art that will only get better with practice. However, the following tips will help you to be all you can be next time a good looking hunk or beautiful woman walks into the room.

photo by ahanki

1. Smile and the world will smile back. Smiling is important as it sends off a particular signal. Smiling tells people that you are approachable, happy and non-threatening. Frowning will only attract others who are just as unhappy as you. Researchers have shown that smiling is contagious and that by smiling, even when unhappy, will release the neurotransmitters involved in happiness. So, not only will you feel happier, you will spread happiness through smiling. If that mysterious and interesting figure starts to smile because of you s/he will attribute the happiness to you and may even approach you.
2. Eye contact has also been proven to have a powerful effect when flirting. Studies have shown that when complete strangers were told to stare into each other’s eyes for a few minutes that each reported they were attracted to the person at the end of the session. This is because staring into each other’s eyes dilates the pupils and simulates arousal.
3. Be confident. Confident people attract confident people. Confidence will also help you get what you want as you will be more certain about what you want. Your body will radiate and you will start more conversations with people. The more people you meet, the more likely you will find someone you click with.
4. Don’t be too serious. No one likes a downer. If that special someone doesn’t notice you don’t take it personally! There are others, billions of others! Getting down because flirting didn’t work will leak into your confidence and make it more likely that you will fail the next time. If s/he doesn’t notice you then s/he was not worth it! Move on with a smile.
5. Listen and question. Once engaged in a chitchat listen to the other person and question them on things they confide in you. People like talking about themselves and questioning your flirting partner will indicate that you really are interested in them! Besides, this will be an opportunity to see if this person is really all that interesting.
6. Don’t get away too much information. There are some things that are just not appropriate for the first talk, for the first date, even the first year! No one wants to hear about the ex or about the parents. Don’t wait to long in a relationship to discuss the important stuff, but don’t lay it all on them during the first night.
7. Wear the right clothes to attract the right person. Sure, that strapless shirt and mini skirt is sexy but do you really want to attract people on the basis on what body parts you’re letting them gaze at? Real relationships have to have an element of mind as well as body: sex and intelligence.
8. Do not use the cheese. Leave the cheesy, corny pickup lines at home. Talking honestly about how you feel will always be more sincere than those pickup lines found at the joke website. Improvisation requires a little confidence mixed in with a little intellect and a dash of emotion. Dazzle the person with your wit and creativity.
9. Buy them a drink. This will draw their attention. However, do not buy them what you are drinking. This will come off as controlling and selfish. Instead, buy them another of whatever they are drinking.
10. Follow your gut. Instincts are usually right about people being “off”. If you get a bad feeling about how someone is looking at you, or is talking to you, leave. It is always better safe than sorry.

Relationships are not easy to start and even harder to maintain. However, that feeling of someone special caring about you and you caring about someone special is worth all the effort you go through to get there! Remember that flirting is a game. Have fun and don’t be too serious. You will find that someone special, so keep up a smile and be confident!