We all know about the stereotypes that surround ‘geeks and nerds’. The most well known: Social interactions. The social milieu is a scary venture for not only ‘geeks and nerds’ but also introverted people. It may seem that no matter how hard you try you get nowhere and end up making yourself look like a fool. The following tips will help you interact better and have a fun time in the process.

1. Confidence. This is a “biggy”. Difficult to obtain but crucial for social interactions. Let’s face it, not many wish to interact with someone who is drawn into themselves or wishes to be anywhere else but where they are. Low confidence, among many other things, makes those around you feel like you haven’t quite figured yourself out yet or that you don’t really know if you want to be talking to them. Even pretending to have confidence will have an impact on people’s impression of you, however, the best approach is, coaching yourself before social gatherings so that you have real confidence.

2. Real confidence. How does one obtain this elusive concept? Well, make a list of personal accomplishments, or values that you have before interacting with others. Do not use these as indicators that you are better than others, use them to boost your self–esteem; your self-worth.

3. Be simple. Do not overdo it on the quantum physics or the likes. Most people will have no idea what you are talking about and will feel threatened or think that you are trying to make yourself look better than everyone else. Before going to a gathering, if possible, look up interests of people that you may be talking with. If you find that one person is in psychology or sociology, look up some interesting topics that will be useful in chitchat. Perhaps a controversial issue would be of use in order to capture their attention.

4. Capture their attention. As mentioned, a controversial issue might be useful. But one must be careful here in the delivery. It is important to bring the topic into conversation without stirring up too much chaos. For example, introduce yourself to person X and say that you were informed that X was a psychology student and that you read this interesting article on Y subject. Ask them what they thought about it. People love to talk about their opinions.

5. Listen. This is important. One must learn quickly how to balance interjection of opinions and views versus just letting the person talk. You will see the person getting frustrated if you are cutting them off too often or babbling too much about yourself. Social interactions are give and take although sometimes it’s better to give a little more than you take.

6. Find something in common. We all know how much of an impact this can have. And avoid at all cost making it corny like “we both like red”.

7. Be prepared to fail and remember that practice makes perfect. Or if not perfect, practice makes better. If you don’t succeed right away you must get back up. Only with experience will you be able to learn what works and what doesn’t in social interactions. If you fail, take it as a challenge to do better next time.

8. Have fun. Realize the reason you are there, to make friends or to meet new people. Learning about other people’s interests, or being able to talk with someone about your own interests is fun and important in building self-esteem. Being stressed will only hinder your process.

These tips will not change you over night so don’t expect them to. Also, it is crucial to remember that you will fail. We all do, even those highly extroverted people who can talk to anyone fail. The best thing to do is learn to not focus entirely on the failing aspect. Instead, figure out where it went wrong and make it better for next time. Also remember that not everyone is meant to get along. Some situations will not go well for the simple fact that some people’s opinions will clash. Or because either you or they are having a bad day. The more social gatherings you participate in the quicker you will learn when and how to talk to people.

[photo by *cynner*]