Workplace Bullying
Are you constantly being criticized and put down, at work, for invalid reasons? If so you are most likely a victim of workplace bullying.
Workplace bullying is an abuse of power to undermine and intimidate an employee. It is persistent and, over time, can destroy the employee’s self-esteem. People bully because of a need to be in control. This need is based on insecurity of their own capabilities, or lack thereof. They feel “less-than” and boost their self-esteem through the humiliation and criticism of others. They need to push someone down to feel better about themselves.
Open bullying is exactly that. It is the public humiliation of an employee. It can manifest by the bully being verbally or physically abusive. It usually involves humiliating a person in front of co-workers or, conversely, completely ignoring them. Demeaning, unjustified comments about an employees work performance, jokes about the employee’s appearance, personal life or manner of expressing themselves or mocking the employee are just a few examples.
Hidden bullying can consist of persistent criticism, the setting of impossible standards (i.e.: giving deadlines that are impossible to meet), spreading mean, unfounded rumors, stealing ideas and taking credit for them, over-monitoring an employee’s work performance, over-ruling the employee’s authority and blocking promotions.
There are three choices on how to handle workplace bullying. Quit, ignore it or take action. If you decide to take action make sure to document everything. Keep record of every situation, no matter how trivial, where you felt bullied. Include dates, times, names of people who witnessed the occurrence. Keep all documentation where there instances of bullying such as memos, emails, chat logs or letters. Build your case and once done take it to someone higher up the management chain. If that does not produce results find the appropriate government agency to help you or take legal action.
Remember bullies are adept at spotting and exploiting weakness, so be assertive, even if you don’t feel it. Most bullies will back down when confronted. Do not let them get a reaction from you since your reaction is what they feed off of. In other words, “Never let them see you sweat!”
Have you been subjected to workplace bullying? We’d love to hear about how you chose to deal with it and the outcome.
Comments
A coworker spread gossip about me in meetings where I wasn’t present. I heard about it through a friend. One comment I was willing to let go. The second time I heard about it, I knew something had to be done. Then the coworker made a sarcastic, snarky, demeaning comment to me. I replied through clenched teeth and immediately excused myself to cool off.
I drafted a letter to her explaining what she had done and why it was unacceptable and cc’d it to our boss. I set up a meeting with the coworker and brought another colleague to facilitate.
The meeting took all of five minutes and was mostly productive. She admitted she had spread the gossip, and made a weird, passive-aggressive admission of sorts that she wouldn’t spread gossip anymore. There was never an apology. I also made it clear that if she ever said anything again, I would file a grievance with our union and she would face job sanctions. I realized then that even though she and I have essentially the same job, we would never be close, true co-workers. She would simply always remain a cow-orker! LOL
She continues to give me the silent treatment, not speak to me unless she absolutely has to, avoid all eye contact, etc. Mostly it now just amuses me. She’s much older, and has more honors and experience than I do (although I have nearly 20 years experience in this field). She’s just depressive and passive-aggressive.
Knowing what she’s all about has made it easy to kill with kindness, remain upbeat, gracious, and professionally pleasant.
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