I was reading an article about what it takes to be a “leader”. The things someone should say, do, the way they should act and I wondered if that’s all it takes to be a leader. Be confident, speak firmly, be decisive… Follow some relatively simple steps and Voila, you’re a leader?

I realized that it’s just not that simple. I thought about famous leaders and found a parallel. Passion. Isn’t Donald Trump as passionate as Nelson Mandela? While their end goals are vastly different, each is as passionate about their endeavors as the other. Then I realized that there are other components that are just as important. Circumstance being one. Would Mandela be such a great leader if happenstance hadn’t led him to be born into a circumstance such as his?

All this thought got me to remembering my college days. I was studying in business and had the same teacher for several courses. To say that he loved group projects was a huge understatement. For the first few classes I landed the not so coveted role of team leader. I chalked it up to my being the only one willing to step up to the plate and do the job and not to my abilities. I was older than the average college student and was there to learn, not just pass time. It was just the circumstances. Our final class was a monster of a group project that encompassed all the business and marketing skills we had learned thus far.

Two groups of 10 people with 10 different projects pitted against one another and that had to actually make money. Within a span of 5 minutes of our first team meeting I was selected to be team leader again. I didn’t want the job, felt I’d learned all that I could from previous times and frankly was tired of pulling more than my share of the weight. I politely declined, to their horror, and went off to explain to the teacher. As I explained he gave me this sad look. I didn’t realize at the time but he was thinking “You poor fool if you think getting out is that easy.” The job fell to an extremely bright, very competent and hard working girl. It didn’t take long before she was asking me what I thought she should do. Knowing how difficult and challenging her role was, I didn’t hesitate to help her out. Soon the leader of the other team, my leader’s best friend, was soliciting advice. Back I went to my teacher ranting about how I might as well have done the job myself. Again that same sad smile and he said “Just tell them, No.”

After a few days of cursing my teacher, the “leaders” and probably the world, I took some time to think and came to a startling realization. Maybe leading wasn’t something that I’d fallen into, maybe it was something I had natural talent for.

Leading isn’t always about saying or doing something. Sometimes it’s about not saying or doing. It is about balance. It’s also about exceptions. To every “Do” there are situations where the same choice is a “Don’t”. Since those college days I’ve had many opportunities to put into practice much of what I’ve learned and even more of what I already knew.

Over the course of the next few articles I will explain some of the points that I feel are important to have in your “Leadership Arsenal”.

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image via Flickr member malloryneelyhouse