I’ve been on the internet for a very long time and I remember all those scams that used to say you’ll be getting a free car if you give them your e-mail address. I am going to explain what I did in order to get my car free of charge.

Two years ago I had somewhere near 20,000 Eur ($27k) invested in stocks. I wanted to buy a car because I had no access to our family car so I did. I bought a new Citroen C4, for the price of 15,000 ($21k) Eur on a 5 year leasing. Many people said it was a mistake that I didn’t buy it with the cash up-front but I had my ideas. I kept the money on the stock exchange and one year later I already had a 40% yield. I found a great deal for buying some land, and now after 6 more months I can tell you that my investment totals near 80,000 Eur ($110k).

So imagine that I paid (from my paychecks) 18 payments for my car which was a way of saving each and every month, otherwise I would have spent it for un-necessary stuff and the money that I didn’t spend all at once for my car I invested. Simple math will tell that I got not only one car free, but about four cars.

I advise you to invest borrowing money from the bank, but I also advise you not to go too much into debt. For me 280 Eur ($380) a month was not that big but I am sure if I had 4 cars to pay for, would be too much.

The conclusion I got after doing all these, is that if I would have bought the car with the cash up-front I wouldn’t have paid interest, but also I wouldn’t have the $110k I told you about. Maybe only $10-$15k. If you can afford to borrow and you have a deal don’t wait, do it, and if you feel like you already have made enough profit, cover your credit and keep the difference.

I was reading an article about what it takes to be a “leader”. The things someone should say, do, the way they should act and I wondered if that’s all it takes to be a leader. Be confident, speak firmly, be decisive… Follow some relatively simple steps and Voila, you’re a leader?

I realized that it’s just not that simple. I thought about famous leaders and found a parallel. Passion. Isn’t Donald Trump as passionate as Nelson Mandela? While their end goals are vastly different, each is as passionate about their endeavors as the other. Then I realized that there are other components that are just as important. Circumstance being one. Would Mandela be such a great leader if happenstance hadn’t led him to be born into a circumstance such as his?

All this thought got me to remembering my college days. I was studying in business and had the same teacher for several courses. To say that he loved group projects was a huge understatement. For the first few classes I landed the not so coveted role of team leader. I chalked it up to my being the only one willing to step up to the plate and do the job and not to my abilities. I was older than the average college student and was there to learn, not just pass time. It was just the circumstances. Our final class was a monster of a group project that encompassed all the business and marketing skills we had learned thus far.

Two groups of 10 people with 10 different projects pitted against one another and that had to actually make money. Within a span of 5 minutes of our first team meeting I was selected to be team leader again. I didn’t want the job, felt I’d learned all that I could from previous times and frankly was tired of pulling more than my share of the weight. I politely declined, to their horror, and went off to explain to the teacher. As I explained he gave me this sad look. I didn’t realize at the time but he was thinking “You poor fool if you think getting out is that easy.” The job fell to an extremely bright, very competent and hard working girl. It didn’t take long before she was asking me what I thought she should do. Knowing how difficult and challenging her role was, I didn’t hesitate to help her out. Soon the leader of the other team, my leader’s best friend, was soliciting advice. Back I went to my teacher ranting about how I might as well have done the job myself. Again that same sad smile and he said “Just tell them, No.”

After a few days of cursing my teacher, the “leaders” and probably the world, I took some time to think and came to a startling realization. Maybe leading wasn’t something that I’d fallen into, maybe it was something I had natural talent for.

Leading isn’t always about saying or doing something. Sometimes it’s about not saying or doing. It is about balance. It’s also about exceptions. To every “Do” there are situations where the same choice is a “Don’t”. Since those college days I’ve had many opportunities to put into practice much of what I’ve learned and even more of what I already knew.

Over the course of the next few articles I will explain some of the points that I feel are important to have in your “Leadership Arsenal”.

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image via Flickr member malloryneelyhouse

From war movies, to kid’s novels, to real life, friends are a necessity which can propel us to great heights we could never reach alone, or hold us back from our ambitions. I’m sure all of you have seen a war movie or two in your time. Always, many of the survivors would not be survivors if their mates hadn’t helped them out. Even in Harry Potter, a series of kid’s novels, the main character manages to conquer evil much more powerful than him, all because of the help friends gave him. Despite being aware of the necessity for friends, it is often taken for granted the amount of influence friends have on our lives.

One of the keys to success in business is the ability to make and maintain contacts. But what is their secret? Nobody likes to be used purely because of their position, or what they can offer for friends. In this, it emerges that the key is being genuine, and not an opportunist looking to use and then dump people purely for their own benefit. Granted, socializing does not come easy for some people and even though they are genuine they come across simply as a manipulator. Not to worry, where there is a will there’s a way.

The main sticking point for people who come across as manipulators, is they ask for favors too soon after meeting soon-to-be friends. Reason being, the relationship has not been well developed; instead, they are being asked to do a favor before enough comfort and rapport has been built. The way to avoid this happening, and ensure everyone knows you are genuine, is to build friendships, long before any favors are asked. And of course don’t be shocked if they ask for a favor in return later down the track. After all, everyone needs a helping hand once in a while – no matter how rich, old or smart they are!

Finally, make sure to treasure the friendships you have and don’t let them die. A visit even once a month will make sure the friendship lives on.

You may be a highly respected professional for project management, advertising or sales but when you attend meetings on other topics people may not consider you “somebody”, you’re just someone else that joined the party. What you need to do is, to stand out from the crowd, making people understand that you are an interesting person worth talking to, even if it’s not your crowd. Here are 9 techniques that you can use to be Somebody.

1. Use your smile. You are entering the room or someone is adding you to a discussion so you need to convince fast and a big flooding smile is your best friend. Just a quick smile is not working anymore. It needs fine tuning, because it’s hard to penetrate the minds of the sophisticated crowds we get to join these days.

2. Sticky eyes. I remember school time, staring at my teachers from various reasons like trying to read their lips, just for looking great or because they were moving so much. The funny thing is they noticed me every time, once I was even stopped to ask me what I felt about the class.
Continuous eye contact can make you stand out from a crowd because it creates a very intense “bond” between the two people. It’s so intense that it has the same feelings as if you are in love, your heart beats faster and the adrenalin levels are high. Imagine when you go buy a car and the sales person keeps his eyes on you when he explains everything you should expect. Don’t you feel comfortable, don’t you feel like he is trustworthy and he has the knowledge to sell you a good car? That’s the help you’re after.

3. Your posture. I’ve been to the swimming pool where I had some professional swimmer friends. I remember entering the room where the whole team was having the last talk with their referee; all of them were tall, with the shoulders back and the head high, with all the muscles screaming for joy and pride. Their bodies were almost defining perfectness and they were like flying 1-inch off the ground. These guys lost, and they ended up on the last place, but I will never forget those guys. I will never forget their posture and how they stood up from the whole crowd.
However, though you need the ideal image, you should make a difference between being arrogant and use your posture against you, and using it to be Somebody.

4. Everyone is a big baby. This one I remember it from a book I read some time ago. Do you know that we are all babies from time to time? You should know that you can win someone if you treat them like you would treat a very sweet child. If you ever get presented and you need to be Someone right away then you should show it right away. Treat them like a child. People enjoy congratulations, smiles and a face that says “I like uou, you’re someone special”.

5. Pleasant voice. People are much more attracted into talking with someone that won’t cry or yell. It’s in the human mind to stop doing something it doesn’t like. Imagine why there are classes for such things, why they only choose people with pleasant voices to talk on the advertisements you hear on your radio and so on.

6. You are confident. You followed all those things I mentioned before and you enter the ball room where you should convince people you are really Someone. How do you do that unless you are confident you have all the skills to do it? It’s all coming from inside. If you believe it then you are one step closer.

7. Clothing. This is also very important because you cannot go naked. When you should meet for business or something related I definitely advise you to get a suit. You cannot into to a place where everyone is wearing one, with your shorts. Though it will make everyone look at you when you enter the room, it will be because they are shocked not because you are Someone. Dress according with the code of the meeting.

8. Talk and listen wisely. You and the crowd met. They like you for your smile, and your posture but you need to bring arguments that you fit there, not to mention that you don’t want to miss anything. Do not talk too much or everyone will feel overwhelmed and might leave the discussion, but please do talk when you think your opinion would be appropriate. Another advice would be to listen before you talk. Let them finish their ideas and keep a keen eye on how your listeners react to what you’re saying and take your next steps accordingly.

9. Visualize being a Somebody. I explained how being confident will create enough positive karma that everyone will see it, but now it’s a different story. If you are planing anything before, one thing that could be the most important is to see yourself being successful. You can imagine everything in your mind and rehearse it until you’re comfortable with the situation.

These advices are easy to follow but I would like to take a few more sentences to mention that excessive usage may annoy. I know someone that is doing everything I wrote above, 20 times a day with everyone she meets. People become used to it and will characterize you as fake. This is something you don’t need. Use them in a positive way and you will like what you get.

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Have you ever thought to yourself, “I can’t do that, it’s too hard”? How often does this happen… once a week, every day? We often find ourselves talking our way out of challenges we don’t want to face on a regular basis. This is generally due to a lack of motivation or having a million other things which are easier and more fun to do. The flipside being, all of those things we’d rather be doing are generally less productive and don’t get us anywhere to achieving our goals and ambitions. Thankfully, there are some sure-fire ways of transforming your bad habits into good habits.

Firstly, you need to understand what exactly a habit is, and how habits are formed. Habits can be referred to as your “action you take after a specific thought process”. For example when you have a shower: you take your clothes off, open the door, turn the hot water on, find the right amount of cold, then jump in. You’ve done that so many times it’s become a habit. Do you turn the hot or the cold on first? It can be assured you would turn the same tap on every time when you are in your shower. What we do time and time again becomes a habit – one of which we don’t even have to think about, our brains automatically do it themselves. Like driving, sport, and even relationships, our habits are our “auto-pilot” which dictate what we will do in situations we have encountered time and time again.

The next step to changing a habit is to determine what the habit is, and what triggers that habit. For instance, one of my habits is that if I’m feeling hungry, I open the fridge to look for some chocolate. In this scenario, the trigger is feeling hungry, and my habit is looking for chocolate. The trigger is the event which causes a particular habit to kick in. Once the trigger and the habit have been determined, you can move to the next step.

You now have the trigger and the habit. Next you need to determine what you want to happen when the trigger is activated. Let’s say instead of looking for chocolate when I get hungry, I would rather look for some fruit. I need to get my brain to refer to this habit of looking for fruit every time the trigger “feeling hungry” is activated, rather than looking for chocolate. There are a couple of steps to doing this. One, close your eyes. Imagine yourself as the trigger happens from a first person perspective. Two, now imagine yourself doing your new habit. Play this scene a couple of times in your head to get a good feel for it.

Now you have a feel for your new habit, it’s time to put it into action. Every time your trigger is activated, you need to do your new habit. It’s natural for the first couple of times to slip up and do your old habit. The trick is to make yourself consciously aware when your trigger is activated, that way you’ll be able to do your new habit. It’s said that it takes around 21 days to create a habit. In a month or so after doing your new habit every time the trigger is activated, it will become second nature and you won’t have to even think about it. Presto! New habit created !

At least once a month, one of my friends complain that after work they have no energy left and feel tired. The reasons are many from not sleeping enough or during the wrong hours, to bad eating habits.

Inspired by Leo’s article about 16 great, healthy dinners in 10-minutes or less, I will try to give you the best tips to have a very enjoyable evening after work and to go to work full of energy.

1. A good night sleep. I am sure you all know the expert’s theory for a good rest which is sleeping 8 hours a night, but what is the most important is which eight hours? According to Ayurvedic medicine the best hours to rest your body are between 10pm and 6am. It’s advised to sleep when the sun is out, while it’s dark outside so that your body rejuvenates. Like this, you will have a lot more energy during the day.

2. Breathing properly. Do you know that you may not breathe properly? A few months ago when I was having a massage the masseuse told me I wasn’t breathing the way I should, I was only breathing to get some air inside my lungs. However, Yoga can help. Sit up straight, close your eyes and place your hands just above your waistline, then inhale gently through your nose. Do not expand your upper-chest, but your lower-chest and stomach. Then exhale forcefully through your nostrils and draw your lower-chest and your stomach in. Repeat 10 times and you will get the habit of breathing properly.

3. Exercise in the morning. Twenty or thirty minutes of daily exercise will not only make you more energetic during the day but will also keep your joints and muscles in shape. Exercising is a great way to combat stress, the biggest energy eater, because it will produce lots of chemicals needed by the brain.

4. Alternated showers. It’s 40 Celsius around here so I can bet everyone would enjoy a very cold shower to cool down, but studies showed that in order to regain your energy you need to alternate between hot and cold water (1 minute each). This will help to draw blood to your skin, which translates into better blood circulation for all your organs.

5. A quick nap. If you’re a person that needs a nap during the day, you should do it between 1pm and 4pm because this is normally the time of the day when your body naturally slows down. A 10-30 minutes nap (do not exceed) will energize you for several hours. I am aware that people usually work full time so a solution would be to take a nap during your breaks.

6. Eating healthier. This is another topic of which we hear a lot of theories. The main idea is to consume more vitamins and minerals and less fats and cholesterol. Here is my advice so that you get the most energy from food:

- a rich breakfast. Remember that just like a car uses gasoline to start the engine, your body needs to be fueled, too. You need to start your own engine in the morning, so after exercising and taking a shower you should eat breakfast. Aim for a combination of whole grains, fruits and vegetables and a moderate amount of low-fat proteins and dairy products. The combinations above can also be used for lunch or dinner.
- frequent eating which translates into eating small meals more than 3 times a day. The reason is to prevent your blood sugar levels from crashing. Sugar is what gives you lots of energy for short term, because as soon as you give your body sugar, it will produce insulin, to overtake it. That is why a healthy blood sugar level should be maintained.
- savor your meals. Not many of us do. Everyone is in a hurry so you eat your yogurt while running to the other meeting, on the other floor? You need to settle down and eat your meal in a calm place so that you can really taste and savor what you are having. You will be back to the office prepared for a new round in the bull-fight!
- eat enough calories. You eat enough, you work hard but you’re losing weight? Unless you are over-weight then an alarm sign should ring. This means you’re not having enough calories a day and you should do something about that problem, as soon as possible. If you don’t put enough gas into your car you cannot expect for it to run more than what you’ve put in. Your body is not getting enough calories so you cannot ask for more energy.
- be aware of what you’re eating. Avoid fast foods because all you will get there is tempting meals that are full of fats and cholesterol. I know they taste extremely well but would you put bad gas in your car if you know in time it will damage? Can you risk any interventions to your body in the future? Try to eat less meat (at least eat fish and sea-food if you can’t live without it), less dairy products (but don’t eliminate them) especially if you know the source and it’s nothing artificial and eat as many fruits and vegetables you want. Many will feel like having a snack while getting the chart done for the 3 o`clock presentation and I have the answer. Replace chipss or pretzels with dried dates, dried apricots or any other fruit you like.

7. Don’t eat too late. This is the part where you should try eating the last meal 5 hours before bedtime. It usually takes 5 hours for the food to be digested and released from the stomach to the small intestine. If you eat at 9pm and then head to bed at 10pm it means your body is working, so imagine why you’re lacking energy next morning.

8. Music has energy. Have you noticed that sometime you fall asleep when listening to Julio Iglesias or any other soft songs? It’s true. Your mind relaxes, your muscles do too, and you fall asleep. It’s been studied that a faster tempo song can energize the body therefore why not listening to some upbeat music in the morning, when you workout or at the office if everyone is fine with it.

9. A cup of coffee after work or a cup of energizing tea (fresh ginseng or ginseng tea bags) that will temporary increase your energy level and will make you more alert.

10. Spend some quality time. Have you noticed that after a weekend in the mountains, to the seaside or in a place where you feel really well and relaxed you have more energy when you’re back home? It really works to relax your mind and body. However, I am not only talking about weekends here. To get your mind off your daily problems you can invite friends over or you can have a few hours out with them, be it in the park on a terrace or at a restaurant. Socializing is a very powerful technique to relieve tension and stress.

I know everyone aims for a great career that will bring lots and lots of money and you don’t have time to take into consideration the 10 little tips I gave above. However I would like you to think of that quote by Octavian Paler: “we lose our health to make money, and then we lose our money to get our health back - most of the time being unsuccessful“.

Is it worth it?

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image copyright : www.babor.com.hk

We all know someone that is a good leader – the type of person that can walk into a group and in a matter of minutes have the respect of everyone, and have everyone willing to support the decisions they make. Wouldn’t it be great if this could be you? If people wanted you to get that promotion, or for you to be the captain of your sports class?

The best thing about this world is that everything is learnable; nobody is born with the ability to set Olympic records, they must train and put in 100%. This is the same with leadership. Nobody is a born leader; leaders have picked up traits and behaviors in their life which have shaped them from followers into leaders. Here are 4 traits that make up leaders, and how you can add them into your everyday life.

1) Confidence. You can tell instantly one’s confidence, the moment you lay eyes on them. Posture, movement, voice tonality. They walk upright, stand up for what they believe in, act as they would own the place. They talk as though they believe what they are saying, and they don’t put themselves down. Confidence also means they aren’t out to seek people’s approval; which is a big turnoff and shows they aren’t a leader, but a follower who is lacking confidence.

2) Humor. Naturally laughing with someone makes you feel more relaxed with them. Leaders have this ability to tell jokes and create a relaxed atmosphere. This doesn’t mean being the class clown who makes everybody laugh all the time. It is more important in the first couple of minutes of meeting someone, that you make them laugh and start to feel more comfortable with you, as this feeling will become stronger over time.

3) Respect. What goes around comes around. Start paying attention to people and what they are saying, genuinely listen to them (even if you don’t want to), and in turn you will find people will be more willing to listen to you.

4) Connection. This is the hardest to both explain and understand. It is a combination of humor, respect and rapport – ultimately creating a connection between you and someone else (whether it be good/bad, strong/weak). The more of a connection you have with someone, the more they will listen to you and follow your leadership.

Be confident, relax and make jokes, respect people and their opinions, and create a connection with them and you will be on your way to becoming a leader people will want to follow (not the type of leader who takes control to everyone’s dislike). It is those who add value to a group that are leaders, they make others feel good and they will follow to keep receiving these good feelings.

So, even if you take just one thing away from what you have read, let it be this: “Make others feel good and want to be around you.”

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Persuasion is truly an art and I think I should start with the definition of persuasion : “the process of influencing attitudes and behavior”. It’s a way of “forcing” someone to adopt an idea or an attitude and such techniques are being used in sales, diplomacy, politics, religion, military, training and management.

What persuasion involves

The first think you need, is to understand what your audience wants and needs - research and careful preparation - so that you can target them extremely well by creating an emotional connection. You should consider your position from every angle.

Second thing is to work for a shared solution understanding that you should pay attention to the whole discussion taking in consideration all those small aspects that you could use in your favor.

Four major persuasion traps are

• attempting to make your case with your upfront hard sell
• resisting compromise
• thinking that the secret of persuasion is to present great arguments
• assuming persuasion is a one-shot effort.

When you’re trying to persuade someone you should know there are a few weapons you can use. These are just a few of the principles of persuasion, that I thought are the most important.

1. People enjoy experts. If you are an expert then you should know you have a small advantage because people usually need to be assured they’re talking with someone that will get the job done or with someone that could be trusted. A speaker will be more persuasive if he is perceived as an authority in the domain, with great competences and knowledge.
2. People like those that like them. It’s all about liking. If you are trying to sell someone a product you’d better smile and show that you enjoy the discussion and the person you’re talking with.
3. Give them what they can’t have. Ever since we are little we always do what we are told not to do, and we wish what we can’t afford or not allowed to buy. It’s in the human nature to want more of what they can have less of, rather than something they can easily get.
4. Make them think it’s their idea. If you’re trying to convince someone of anything then you will have a very good response if they think they brought the idea up.
5. It’s all about reciprocity. You should usually give something to get anything in return. Think of those that serve you in a restaurant. It’s their nature to remember those that tip the best and those that don’t, so if you really need your food really well cooked give something in return (tip well). A “reward” is always welcome, to persuade someone.
6. Social proof. This is something we all use. Take the iPhone for example. It may not be the best mobile phone in the world but if everyone is getting one, the trend will begin. People tend to follow trends and what others do.
7. Everyone wants reasons. If they are not doing something just because it’s trendy and everyone does it, you should supply arguments.

I will cover other aspects of persuasion in my future articles. If you like what you read on SocialPacks you can subscribe to my feed.

I don’t know what was with me today but I felt like browsing Alexa. I was curious about one of my sites and about Mahalo. Both going up! Then I saw something really interesting. It said “get your custom t-shirt”. It hit me when I remembered that Shoemoney is showing the t-shirts he got from his readers, each Friday offering exposure. He’s become a frequent speaker at all the big conferences about affiliate marketing, about search engines and stuff related, where I always see him in his green AuctionAds t-shirt. This could be a reason why his company is getting so much exposure these days, this is what they remember Jeremy for. The CEO of AuctionAds.

Therefore the idea is simple. Creating a custom t-shirt with your logo or URL that you can give away to people or wear them yourself will make them remember, will make your brand more powerful. T-shirts are great promotional products and you see them everywhere because they work at trade-shows, contests, giveaways, product launches or even seminars. The recipient will smile and say “thank-you” so the response is very positive.

T-shirts are not the only promotional products out there. Pens, backpacks, briefcases, clocks and watches, travel accessories, cups, are all working both on the internet or in your offline business.

I’ve seen it, not once, not twice, not hundreds but thousands of times. Everyone asks questions how can they monetize their blogs because either their Google Adsense account was closed or it’s not bringing enough cash.

When should you use Adsense?

There is no general answer for that, other than try it and see if it brings anything back. It’s all about the content you are writing, about the niche of your blog. Take “diabetes” for example, high payouts, ads are blending in (content related) extremely well and your click through (CTR) is higher than the general because the visitors are violently asking for more and more information. It’s a win-win situation to add Adsense, rather than trying to find your advertisers directly.

Another example is tech related websites. Let’s look at Gizmodo or Engadget. I am sure at their amounts of traffic (average of 1.38mil daily unique visitors for Gizmodo) they have special deals with Google but still I can bet Adsense is 25% of their income. That is because a lot of people advertise GPS, speedometers, robots, Apple products, PS3 and other things to sell them. So the ads are blending in really well, again.

I am aware that not all of you have websites related to diabetes or get millions of unique visitors daily but Adsense can be for you, too. Adsense is great for those that don’t have great experience with monetizing pages, because you set it up easy, you get guidelines from Google how to blend them in and you don’t have to seek your advertisers because they already have them for you.

When shouldn’t you use Adsense?

My friend Bobby Voicu is a good marketer. He has the needed skills to take a site to the next level, to create great communities, in other words he knows how to get traffic to a website. Recently we had a discussion related to one of his websites in the automotive niche which got him 200-300 clicks a day in Adsense and paid out only $10 or $12. After many tweaks the results were the same. Adsense delivered a value of 3 to 7 cents per click which for such a website is unacceptable.

This is the case, when I don’t advise people to use it anymore and that is because using other money makers would be paying much better. You can use adBrite where you set the click value, Kontera to match the words with ads, and so on. When Adsense is paying very low or when you do not get any conversions because something is up with their algorithms and the ads won’t cover what your site is about, you can take it off for a while and try something else.